Dear Carl,
It’s taken me awhile to finally accept the news, to be quite honest I still don’t want to believe it. I guess I’m just really confused. I mean, how could you? Florida Atlantic? Really? But seriously, is that even a real school? Sounds like a deep sea fishing movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Kevin Costner. That was mean. I'm sorry. I'm just hurt, you have to understand that. I had to hear it from Suh’s Twitter that you're leaving Nebraska. That’s a joke, Suh doesn’t even know you. I asked. It was actually from Bo’s. Just kidding. It was from Tom’s. As in Tommy Frazier. But even he might have been referring to something else- “#missingmyhotcarl.” But, I'm sure someone out there cares you're leaving, I mean besides me. Whatever though, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said you look like an Islamic Nicholas Cage. Or that you look like an older version of Randall from Recess. I didn't mean it. I hope these aren’t reasons you’re leaving.
I'm sorry I said the only reason you were at Nebraska is because of your brother. Everybody knows that isn't true. You have so much talent as a coach it's not even funny. Our defense this year was definitely unlike any other year... And that was because of you. I feel like you were just starting to step out of the spotlight of your older brother. And by older I mean younger. Sure, a lot of people know Bo, but I think it’s safe to say you made quite the name for yourself here in Nebraska, as well.
Anyway, I didn’t intend for this to get too windy. You know I don’t know a lot about football or politics. Public speaking and pageantry is more my thing. I’m just gonna ask that you don’t go- don’t go without taking your brother with. You Pelinis are like the Olsen twins, useless without the other. And even more useless with both. So yeah, let's kill two birds with one stone here.
Keep in touch,
(literally)... different area code rule.
Andrea
