Save Lindsay.

I’m scared Lindsay Lohan is going to die soon. Like for reals. She’s had five mug shots in the past six months. She’s been in jail and rehab for drugs, alcohol and stealing. I think she’s going to either O.D. or commit suicide. She wants to go down like Marilyn Monroe. I’m not even kidding, I think its coming and it breaks my heart. Why is no one helping her? She had such a promising career ahead of her, what with films like “Freaky Friday” and the made for TV movie “Labor Pains.” It was an ABC film, I didn’t catch it, but only because I was busy watching the Pregnancy Pact. Teen pregnancy was so hot last year, this is one of the few trends Norfolk Senior High was way ahead of. Maybe Linds should have a baby, that helped Brit. But in all seriousness, I just don’t think anyone really realized the affect it had on LiLo when she found out at such a young age that she had a long lost mom and a twin sister that lived in England. That’s intense stuff for a little girl to go through, I think she was just thrown into a situation she wasn’t ready for. She had to stop biting her nails and learn an English accent all in one summer just to try to impress a mom she had never met. It’s really very sad if you think about. I think we can blame her mom for all of the Sam Ronson issues, everybody says if you don’t have a dad you date bad men, same goes with a mom I suppose. I’m thinking about starting a Save Lindsay movement on Facebook, like maybe we could all change our pic to our favorite photo of Lindsay? Yeah, I’m going to do it. Feel free to join, but please resist the urge to choose pics of her during her very dark ana time, I’m talking about the photos of Linds circa 2006 in the red Versace dress when she has super blonde hair and her bones are popping out all over, Nichole Richie was her bestie at this time. I just don’t want to wake up one morning and have the death of Lindsay Lohan be all over the news. I’m still just getting over Brittany Murphy.

Speaking of death, what do we think about the demise of Sammi and Ron’s relationship? Is it really over? We can only hope. I don’t think I can handle one more conversation on the roof top between Sam and Ron about being “being broken,” and “you don’t even know what you’ve done to me,” and “this is it,” and “I am so over this,” and “we need to go our own ways” and “Miami blah blah blah.” As JLo said, ENOUGH! No more. I’d rather watch Snooki roll around in the sand with her jiggly butt hanging out, or look at J Woww’s belly button that isn’t there, than watch Ron and Sam’s same conversation that happens every night. Those two are legitimately crazy. I’ve heard about couples who fight all of the time but those two are just over the top. They both want to play victim. Ron broke Sammi, and Sammi makes Ron cry. I don’t want to sound cold, but I find it very comical whenever Ron cries, there’s just something amusing about watching a big gorilla man choke up.

So I'm working at a very ghetto school today. But it's one of my faves. The kids are all so motivated and excited when I come in, they call me Chef T and always ask if I will cook at their graduations and birthday parties, it's sweet. I'm trying to give it my all, but by Friday I am just worn out. This has been my second week in 2011 where I have worked all five days, and it's been a struggle. Sometimes when I'm really dragging ass in a presentation I feel like I'm a Ms. America contestant during a question session. I use the same phrases over and over regardless of what I am talking about. My favorite words and phrases are "various things such as" and "certain elements" and "focal points specializing in but not limited to." Like I said, sometimes even I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. So when I get lost I typically just end whatever I'm saying with, "so as you can see it's not very complicated at all, but just takes time to learn, as does everything worth doing." Try it. It works for almost every sentence as a quick escape route.

Ex 1: "So what were you saying about the video game design?"

Shit, what was I saying? I was mumbling, I have no idea.

"Just that as you can see it's not very complicated, but just takes some time to learn, as does everything worth doing."

Ex 2: "How did they make that ice sculpture?"

"Well, basically, it's not very complicated, but just takes a little time to learn, as does everything worth doing."

Ex 3: "Would you say culinary mangement is more difficult and time consuming than going into like hospitality or baking?"

"Good question, but honestly I just think that neither are very complicated, they both take time to learn, but so does everything worth doing."


Well I'd just like to say Happy Valentines weekend to all of you. May it be a weekend spent with your sweet hearts, may engagements be proposed, and babies conceived. Speaking of conceivement, I just want to say congrats to my friend Jeni! What a big piece of news this is! Although she's really going to have to sit down and think about this as it's a huge decision that shouldn't be made lightly. And she's going to have to really plan it out if she wants to get it taken care of in time. Oh shoot, did I say that wrong? I meant congrats on her engagement of course, whoopsie! Congrats Jeni and Hunter!