Apology to celebs.

Last night at dinner Chris compared me to Ari Gold. When I asked him to please repeat what he had just said he immediately began back tracking, thinking he had offended me. He just meant to say he could see how some people might be a bit intimidated of me and my somewhat "sarcastic persona." The worst part is that I was at first deeply complimented, until I realized he meant it more as an insult. Not intentionally of course... He then went on to say he just felt bad for celebrities sometimes because of the way people (me) are constantly making fun of them. I guess I didn't realize Chris had become an advocate for the Treat the Celebs With Kindness campaign, especially because Chris has no idea what he is talking about in that area. When I asked him which celebs it was that he was so sympathetic for the only two names he could think of were Tiger Woods, big surprise, and the second was Paris Hilton. I had to bite my tongue from giggling when I heard the second. I didn't have the heart to tell Chris people stopped talking about Paris in middle school. I just think Chris is legitimately sad that his hero Mr. Woods turned out to be as big of a schmuck as Ron Jeremy. When news of Tiger's sluttiness first broke and I told Chris about what my mags were saying he didn't believe a single word I said and continued to criticize the "stupid trashy stuff" I read. Well now that the skanks are officially out of the bag Chris is upset that Tiger won't be remembered for his game as much as he will be for his, well, other game. I love awful puns. Boo woo, I'm sure he'll get over it. I tried to explain to Chris that the most ridiculed celebs are those who deserve it. He even stood up for LiLo and said she got a worse sentence because of who she is. Had our food not arrived just then I might have left the table! Of course he didn't know she had already missed three other trial dates on account of partying too much at Caans Film Festival. And why didn't he know? Because he doesn't do his homework in the trashy mags department. This is one subject he should not battle with me because I will win. I told him it's not as if I thrive on celebs messing up, I mean I do like Selena Gomez and Dakota Fanning. It just so happens that a large majority of young Hollywood falls into two of my favorite categories: eating disorders and drug addictions. Oh and cross dressing children, as well. But if there are any other sensetive souls who have been offended by the way I "tear celebrities to pieces in one sentence," I apologize. But I assure you no celebs were hurt in the process of blogging.