Herbie didn't do your mom, that would be disrespectful.

Where do I even begin... Let's start with the positive, the sun still came up yesterday. I didn't think it would, but as it turns out, life does go on even after a loss like we saw on Saturday. Was it painful to watch? Yes. But it was even more painful just to be there. I want the world to know what asshole fans the Wisconsin people are. I now understand why Greenbay fans are regarded as being among the worst fans in the NFL, it's because they started off as Badgers. Husker fans were taunted, thrown beer on, harassed, and worst of all, one little dick wad left my dad hanging when he offered a friendly high five. It takes a real d bag not to return a high five. And I'm almost too embarrassed to bring up what happened on our drive home yesterday. But I will... So here I am driving my car with my parents, brother and Chris in tow. Our spirits are down, we're almost in mourning even, no one is talking. We feel physically and mentally beat down to say the least, when all of the sudden we look to the car next to us and notice a fat pair of ass cheeks pressed against the drivers window. The DRIVER'S window. How does that even work? Screw texting and driving, there should be a law against mooning and driving. And who "moons" these days, anyway? What were they gonna do next, a Chinese fire drill? So lame. Well next thing we know we pull up to a toll. And there is a long line at the toll, so we all ease to a stop, ass-car right behind me. So what does my bat shit crazy self do? I put the car in park, walk to my trunk, and take out Chris's golf club. I'm in no mood for this shit and I wanted to toss things up a bit. Now I wasn't going to do anything, c'mon, I'm not that crazy... But it's about the time I shut my trunk when my dad starts yelling at me to get back in the car. Reluctantly, I did. But I still can't help but smile at the thought of me actually going up to their car with a golf club in hand. That would have been a good moment for me. But how disrespectful. I mean, my parents were in the car for God's sake. But I shouldn't have been surprised. One should have expected such a lewd act from a fan base that all seemed more than amused by wearing shirts that said, "Bucky did your mom." How completely original. I didn't realize the phrase "did your mom" was even still used. Wasn't it officially retired in 1998 after every single 7th grader on earth had said it ten too many times? The other "clever" shirt that was pretty popular up in Madison featured an outline of the state of Nebraska with the words "worst state ever." Isn't that cute. Again, if you're California, or Oregon or Hawaii, go ahead and make fun of our ugly state. But Wisconsin? You're ugly as shit too. The only difference is your people might actually be fatter. Lay off the beef jerky bloody mary's and cheese filled everything you fat ass Northern hippies. Okay I need to settle down, obviously I'm still a little hot on this state, I'm sorry.

It's done. I need to get over it, I know. I just really hate fan fighting. It's pathetic considering fans really do nothing to contribute to the game. And no, singing "Jump Around" while you jump around like a bunch of awkward white kids does not constitute contributing, Badger fans. So sit down, you look like idiots. This isn't a scene from Mrs. Doubtfire.

It's over though, we lost. But hey, we're Husker fans. We lose with class, and we win with class. Madison, keep talking shit. I just have three words for you. Five and zero. We have five national championships. How many do you have?

 Paul Harvey, good day.