OH YEAH.

I try to be a polite guest speaker, I really do. I show up on time. I dress appropriately. I start every day giving the students the benefit of the doubt that they are going to be a good, respectful class. But I can't be blamed for calling students out when they continually speak while I am trying to present. It's quite rude. And I think they need to know because for some reason they have missed this courtesy rule in life. I feel that I am doing them a great favor by bringing their shortcoming to attention. But for some reason each time I call a student out by simply saying,
"hey you, chatty Kathy- be quiet you're being rude."

The whole class seems to think I have just said the funniest thing ever, except the student I called out, of course. Said student will typically look at me like I just stepped on their converse, like I just spit on their Sublime T shirt. It's a good thing I don't go to the same school two days in a row because frequently I get a death look from the kids that seriously scares the shit out of me. The look that lets me know if I return the next day there is a good chance the little Manson is going to try to harm me in some way. I know that sounds extreme, but that's how high school kids are. If I say anything that embarrasses them in the least bit, even unintended, they act as if it's the first time anyone has ever told them to drop their sassy little attitude. But I'm really not being that mean, why should I let the little shits chit chat about cigarettes and beer while I am trying to present some very valuable information about their future? Information that could lead them into a career doing something they love...I will say though, I rarely call out the little snotty snatches of the class. Boys just glare at me, but I could see girls getting real mean. Saying things I don't even want to imagine, like about the fact I am 23 years old and cater to different high schoolers everyday while dressed like the Iron Chef. That's what I am scared of. Especially because every high school senior I talk to is going to be a famous athlete, model or movie star. Some say they'll be a fashion designer if the whole model thing doesn't work out. Well it's always smart to have a back up plan. I've noticed the juniors are typically a little more college bound. Usually UCLA or NYU, small schools- nothing too flashy. These are the students who have never left Kansas. So I know some of you might be thinking that I am calling the kettle African American given the fact that I too once dreamed of moving to California to become a movie star. The difference with me is the fact that I had given up on this dream by high school, I was ready and signed up for UNL by the start of my senior year. I think its all the stupid reality shows these days that are giving kids such false hopes. It's about this time when I tell the students that it's always been my dream to live in Topeker and be a traveling college presenter, I am one of the few lucky ones who "doesn't work a day in their life," because you know that's what they say, if you have a job you love it never feels like work. I'd like to know who is "they" exactly? It's not movie stars because they're always saying how much they work all the time. It's not Taylor Swifty because just yesterday on Ellen she said she's a "workaholic," I think that's what she said anyway, I was a bit distracted though because I was seriously concentrating on her eyes trying to figure out if my theory is correct that she is indeed one of the whitest Asian Americans I have ever seen. The only possible "they" I can think of is the Jersey Shore cast. So I guess in this case reality shows aren't actually giving false hopes to these kids who dream of moving to California and New York to strike it rich without having a single talent in their entire body to rely on. All they simply need is a slogan and some hairspray and they can be well on their way to stardom. T SHIRT TIME! OH YEAH HOT TUB TIME. OH YEAH. At least GTL was semi clever. I feel like Pauli D's "OH YEAH" was simply a test on his part to see if he said something stupid over and over on every episode if people would start copying him and saying it the same way... Guess we know who failed that test. All of us. The Jersey kids did it again.