Harlow and Me

I like pets. I honestly do. I just don't like messiness. Or pee spots. And I don't like trash torn apart everywhere, especially dirty napkins- that makes me gag. And pet hair all over everything grosses me out, too. But nobody likes this stuff. It's not that weird for me to feel this way. So since I'm not weird and am totally able to handle a pet, Chris and I decided to get a puppy. Well, we decided to think about getting a puppy. I'm actually the one who decided there was no sense in waiting any longer and drove to Gridley, KS yesterday afternoon to bring home Harlow. The last conversation Chris and I had about a puppy was yesterday at lunch, at which point we were both still unsure, and decided it would be best if we gave it some more thought for a few days.

But then I was done with work at noon and was just twiddling my thumbs around the house so getting a new puppy seemed like the only logical solution to cure my boredom. Harlow was born on a farm in BFE near Emporia, Kansas. But he clearly was not meant for farm life. I don't want to sound snotty, but the moment Harlow saw me step out of my car with a Louis Vuitton in tow, he could not have run any faster toward me. He jumped in my arms and practically begged me to take him. I was initially skeptical about getting a dog, but as I was covered in puppies licking and jumping on me I was sure I had made the right decision. I started to smell dog poo everywhere and wanted to get this show on the road. I noticed one of the puppies' had poo all over his paws. And then another. And another. They were all carelessly running through a very large pile of dog shit, tracking it everywhere. Puppies covered in shit jumping on you= you covered in shit. I had it on my knees and thighs and stomach and elbows, poop was everywhere! I didn't freak out though. This was just a test I decided. I calmly asked the owner for a towel and wiped myself down as best as I could so the hour ride home wouldn't be completely miserable. No biggy. Dog owners have to learn to deal with this kind of shit...

So now me and Harlow are safely in my car driving to the city. I'm telling him all about his new life and how great it's going to be. I told him how he gets his very own bed and own room and lots of toys and he said,

"I've never had one before,"

and I said, "what, your own room?"

he said, "no, my own bed."

My heart nearly melted. That's when I knew I wasn't changing his life. He was changing mine.

Anyway, the car ride seems to be going fine. I'm chatting away about all my big plans for him in the future when suddenly I notice he is drooling quite a bit. Ugh great, I think, I hate drool and now I have Beethoven on my hands. The next thing I know, little Har has thrown up EVERYWHERE. Great... Now I'm covered in shit and vomit. What's next is his head going to start spinning? Is this normal, I wonder? I pick him up to try to clean him off and he starts to tinkle on me. Really? But seriously, really? What else could happen? I decided right then and there that if he somehow started to menstruate on me I would have to take him back, it just wasn't meant to be. But instead he layed his little head down and fell asleep the rest of the way.

When we got home he followed me everywhere. So naturally I gave him a tour of his new house. The moment I sat down he crawled in my lap and wouldn't leave my side. At this point, Chris still has no idea. So when he walked into the house and saw me sitting on the couch as usual, he didn't think anything was up, until he did a double take and noticed Har fast asleep on my lap. I've never seen someones eyes light up as bright as Chris's did at that moment. I wish I could have taped it because it would have been a youtube sensation,

"A dog! Is that a dog? We got a dog? Is that a dog? We have a dog? You got a dog? A dog? We have a dog!"

He was as excited as a little boy could be. It was great. So after Chris rolled on the floor with Har for a few moments and rubbed his face in his belly a few dozen times we headed to Pets Mart to pick out a few essentials. Bed, treats, bones, tech vest, snow boots, rope, tire swing ext. We want to make sure to do everything right with this little guy. So we bought him puppy food, even though I would like him to get used to eating people food. That's the right thing to do I think. We put his bed in our room, but Har preferred to sleep in the people bed. Who wouldn't though? Like I said, we're trying to do everything right. He slept like a little angel, besides the fact he snored like an old man and was constantly making a gulping sound and moving his lips- he appeared to be dreaming that he was milking from his mama, it was adorable. And the dog slept pretty good, as well.

All in all, the first day/night went pretty good. Whoever said puppies are hard to care for doesn't know what they're talking about. I'll bet Har never does anything bad. He's just too cute to be naughty.