Swine Flu

It's my fourth class of the day and I'm making small chat with the teacher, as usual.
"So, I noticed the class sizes are pretty small here compared to other schools I've been to, that's really nice." I casually mention.
"Oh, no it's not usually like this, a bunch of students are gone with the swine."
"Like a bunch as in...?"
"Just like 80."
And I slowly start to look in my bag for my hand sanitizer at this point, I start to notice all of the germ infested teenagers that are surrounding me. Everyone of them seems to be sneezing and coughing all over the room, just sending the swine germs in to the air. I am sure I am already doomed. In fact, I already feel some of the symptoms coming on right now. My throat kills, my nose is runny and my tail is starting to spiral. Shit could get bad real fast. But not to worry, tonight in the Overland Park newspaper there was an ad that said,
"Swine Flu For the Fashionista"
This caught my attention for sure! Cheetah print masks? Polka dot masks? Flower masks hell yes! Where can I buy them? Now I can protect myself from the flu while still looking stylish. Oh, Overland Park, you think of all the important things in life. God forbid a woman have to go out in public wearing something that does not have print on it.
Write more another time, the swine is making me sleepy.