2 kewl 4 skewl.

So this is how my day begins:
I walk into a high school that has an enrollment of about 3,000 students. Im dressed in black pants and overly huge chef coat. I somehow manage to finagle my way through the entrance pulling one suit case, wheeling the biggest cooler on wheels known to man it's basically the size of a small bath tub, I'm also carrying my cutting board, a computer bag, and one sack of chips. Then the morning bell rings and I find myself trapped in a hallway with hundreds of moody ass teenagers that obviously were not ready to get up this morning. This would be a time to use the phrase FML, but I don't use that phrase so instead I prefer to think, please God shoot me now. Point a shotgun at me from the clouds and take me out of this. Ya, that's dramatic, but I'm in a high school dressed like a damned idiot so I guess I'm gona be a little dramatic. I go into airport mode and begin shoving my way past the little assholes rolling over their ankles with my suitcase and cooler. They don't even see me coming, it was actually quite humorous. I find my way to the FACS classroom and meet the teacher, who was really a nice lady. We chit chat for a second while the students stagger in and then I begin presentation 1 of 6. Six, that's a helluva a lot of presentations. A lot of the same jokes over and over, a lot of the same questions I ask that don't get responses because high school kids don't respond to jack shit. I think I could catch my damn knives in my mouth, while standing in the middle of a ring of fire, naked. And they would still just stare right through me with that empty look in their eye. I wonder if they're on drugs? I'm not about to make accusations or anything, but I really think I was more animated when I was in high school. Maybe not though. What really chaps me are the kids who just think they are too cool for school. Which is ironic because when I was a senior in high school I'm pretty sure I actually made a shirt that said "2 kewl 4 skewl." But that is besides the point. Anyway the "cool kids," think they don't need to listen to the guest speaker (me) No, they think they can just sit and talk to their little followers the whole period. Well not on my count. Some little jack asses were giggling during my intro so I just blurted,
"Hey gigggles. What are you boys laughing about?"
They got so embarrased it was great. They were probably making fun of me saying my intro lines like,
"Find a job you love! It's possible, that is why I am here today, to talk about creative careers! Who likes art in here? Blah Blah blah."
Long story short they shut up. And I was able to continue with a smooth presentation. Oh the life of a public speaker.