Earmuffs

Tell me again how tomorrow is already December 1st? Fox Family's 25 Days of Christmas will be starting in less than twelve hours. I can hardly believe it. Last night as I was all bundled up waiting for the train after work, listening to the talented homeless man play "It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas" with a Jamaican twist on his sax, I had a "city" moment. A moment where I felt pretty cool to be a real city girl, just making my way in the world trying to sell my songs to big record companies while dancing on a bar in cowboy boots called the Coyote Ugly. Learning the hard way that you Can't Fight the Moonlight. It always happens anyway.

My "city" moment quickly diminished as the train pulled up and everybody started pushing and shoving to get on. I took a mouthful of coarse dreadlocks and an elbow to the back to get a spot, but I'll be damned I got on. It's funny to me to remember my old job and the tense "bell run" I used to encounter everyday around 3:15 when I would try to rush out of the school before the bell rang and the teens were let loose, of course this rarely even occurred given that I preferred to be done with work by 1:00. The 5:00 o'clock train run is nothing in comparison. Nothing. I can barely contain myself everyday past 4:30 p.m. just thinking of the rush. I'm already getting anxiety right now just thinking about it.

Chris and I were in the festive spirit last night and put up our tree. If you haven't seen my upload of it, I highly recommend doing so. It looks totally different from the other 500 Christmas tree photos on Facebook right now. Afterward we ventured outside to put lights on the fence. We (or me, as Chris might say) accidentally locked ourselves out of the house for a few minutes (45) and couldn't quite finish the job. It looks okay as it is, but the Clark Griswold inside me says it looks pathetic and could use about ten or so more strings of lights, colored and white. A few plastic figurines wouldn't hurt either. Maybe some of those reindeer that turn their head from side to side.

I'm just hoping the tree is still intact when we get home tonight. Harlow has been, well he's been acting up a bit lately. He was so good for the entire first year (besides the UTI's and STDs) and now within the past month he's just been a little asshole. I think he's just going through something right now, whatever it is he won't talk to me about it. Which is obviously killing me. First he started eating Chris's shoes, I think he's up to six pairs now. Then it was a pillow. Last week I even caught him with a pack of cigarettes in the backyard. No excuses for that kind of behavior in my home. I don't even know where they came from, the neighbors probably, but I sat outside with him and made him eat every last cigarette in the pack and look me straight in the eyes while doing so. Really taught him a lesson on that one. The final straw came last week when Chris left an envelope of money out for the dog walker on the bench and Harlow ate it. Well, he ripped up two $20 bills, didn't touch the $1 bills, and completely swallowed (I can only assume, only time will tell) a $5 bill. If he poops out three $1s and a $2 bill then I'll really be worried. I just don't know how to punish him. He always says it's not his fault, he's just caught in bad situations. Like "no, I didn't mean to curb stomp that other dog at the dog park, I just was trying to regain my balance." Yeah right, Harlow. We all saw the footage.

Time to head back to work. The heat is out today in the Wrigley so it's been a chilly morning. Hoping I"ll be able to finish the afternoon without wearing my parka and earmuffs. Muffs. What a funny name. Would love to see a comical story about earmuffs as told by the always too literal Amelia Bedelia.