The Wonder Years

I think it's safe to say that yesterday could have gone a lot better. My boss came to town to "observe" me on account of the fact I've been on her radar lately because of my "low numbers." Not sure why I put those words in quotes but it just felt right. Again, my "bosses" just can't grasp the fact that my lower than normal numbers are still a correlation from the 15 snowdays in January. I'm happy to report But I am back on track for the month of March. Apparently it doesn't matter, I still got the pleasure of having a fun filled day of awkwardness yesterday with the bossmanlady. Picture being in interview mode all damn day because that's pretty much how it was. I attempted to make a joke and order a mimosa at breakfast and she nearly fired me on the spot. So I went with a bloody instead.

So how does a circus monkey get observed you might wonder. Well it's a very in depth and complicated process. My boss sits in the back corner of one of my classes with a little pad and pen and takes very detailed notes about me while I stand up in front of the room and tap dance and juggle balls of fire for the little highschoolys. It's a very nerve wracking situation. I mean this is my professional life, what if I don't talk about the importance of food styling well enough? Or what if I forget to show a very important animation? If I forget to mention an open house I might as well just walk out the door. All the while I have to smile and joke and make sure everything is spot on with the presentation. So what did I do? Well I basically blacked out in front of everyone, and not the fun kind of Lincoln blacking out, but the kind of black out you do when you forget how to do the most simple things ever, like how to press play in Microsoft Powerpoint, or "Start from Current Slide." The pressure just got to me I think. I literally just froze and didn't know how to work the computer. I felt like Kevin Arnold should have been narrating my life at that moment,

"It was then, as I was standing in front of the entire class when my mind just went blank. I had no idea what to do as twenty pairs of eyes just stared at me. I could only do my best to mumble out a few words and just go on with what I had. It was one of those moments that I couldn't remember a thing, but I knew I would never forget."

Where are the Wonder Years when you need them. All I did was just fumble around and get all red and hot and tell the class,

"Uh sorry, I just can't figure this out, I'm pretty nervous because my supervisor is here watching me. Yeah, right there in the back."

And the whole class turned to look at her. She waved like she thought it was humorous, but later on I learned it wasn't so comical to her after all. After the disastrous class I had a three hour meeting with her at Mimis Cafe. But I found it very difficult to concentrate on her critiques of me while sitting in a restaurant that's covered in the most bizzare shit ever. I mean the place is decorated to make you feel like you're on vacation in New Orleans, I was buzzed just sitting there. I couldn't stop staring at the trumpet on the wall behind my bosse's head. What was it doing there? Could it still be played? If my boss just lifted her head a tiny bit would her words be echoed through the instrument? I wonder if Kenz enjoyed her first Mardi Gras living in New Orleans, better yet did she get a lot of beads? I warned her not to get involved with that. But yeah, I was distracted. We might as well have eaten at the Rainforest Cafe, at least I could have come away with a cool Tshirt.

From what I gathered though, I need to work on my "close" and my "transitions." She didn't approve of my "various things such as" phrase I use to segue into everything. I'll get right on that... Did I mention I just have 36 days of work left until summer? It's true. Don't worry, I'll make sure and post it all over my Fb so no one forgets when I am officially done. The countdown is on.