Chpt 14 FbGirl and Game Day (Posts)

Because a jersey can only be worn as a dress for so many weeks out of the year.

Sometimes I wonder if Husker games are going to crash Facebook. Game days are the few days of the year when every single Facebook patron, young or old, tall or small, feels it is their duty as a Nebraska fan, their absolute obligation, to post. If you are pumped up about the game well then you better let the FB world know or thousands of your FB friends might start to, God Forbid, question your loyalty. Just a standard "GBR" is always fine. Perhaps throw in a little "So excited to watch the Huskers play!" followed by a classic, "Husker Power!" Out of respect, it seems most just follow the simple KITOA rule regarding game day updates, (Keep It Tom Osborne Appropriate.) Which in all regards, wouldn't be a bad rule to follow in life in general. I know I always try to keep it at the top of my mind. Oh, and we can't forget the updates informing us when it is time to enter the stadium, "headed to memorial," "sea of red," "time for tunnel walk," ext. If not for the whereabout updates I might never know when it is actually time for the game to start.

For the most part FbGirl starts the day off like everyone else. An innocent "Go 'Skers," here, and "pumped for the game," there. A few minutes later possibly an update of where she is, or maybe where she is going, or even where she has been. Like her ten too many Husker beads, and double stickerd cheeks, she just always has to take it one step too far.

"Headed to the bottoms to get my drank on!"

"Leaving Sandys, time for Brothasss!"

"Leaving Bros, anyone have a dance party at their tailgate!?"
No, no one does that. Because that is weird.

We don't only know how excited FB girl is for the game, we get an entire play by play of her day. Okay, we get it, you're out and about. Our mini is suddenly full of only her updates as everyone else has taken a break to socialize the old fashioned way, face to face. But the real problem doesn't start until the game updates begin. Depending on how much FbGirl has had to drink she suddenly becomes that angry screaming fan irate over every tiny mistake, the fan I always have to hold myself back from punching. It seems as if she is taking the words directly out of the muscly tattooed boys she is standing by and word vomitting them onto her status because there is no way she could truly be watching the game and updating constantly at the same time- the delayed cell service in Memorial just wouldn't allow it.

FbGirl: "WTF defense I could play better. Put me in."

This would require you wearing pants/shorts under that jersey.

FbGirl: "Um I'm pretty sure I could have caught that pass. I can run faster than that."

Even in your Husker red heels and hoolah hoop earrings? Don't think so.

FbGirl: "Big surprise, looks like were in for another disappointment this year."

Said your parents.

FbGirl: "TD?!? Come on 'skers how did you let that happen?!"

Put an S in front, and it happened the same way as all of yours. They got screwed.