The Edge

And the worst part of my year is over. Well besides the everyday humility I face walking into high schools catering to teens, that part is just beginning. But for the next two weeks I won't let my mind go to that dark place until absolutely necessary. For now I am going to enjoy doing nothing for as long as I can. All in all this week went pretty smoothly. I only got kicked out of the meeting once, so not too shabby. And it wasn't even a big deal, it was simply because my outfit wasn't considered "business casual." White pants/jeans don't fall into that category. But for the record, cotton spaghetti strap dresses worn over a t shirt are perfectly okay. As are winter corduroys, shiny gaucho pants and anything striped. Oh, and next meeting I am going to make sure to bring a silky tank top with lace on the bottom to wear under absolutely everything. Basically, when in doubt, refer to 1996 for style tips. I missed the memo on this little fashion advice somehow. Oh silly me and my drab J Crew button down shirts, I felt like such an idiot! I tell ya, my coworkers are belly dancing, tattoo showing animals at night, and fashionista professionals by day. Looking back, I don't know why I ever thought it would be appropriate to wear white pants in such a business professional setting! What with the classy hotel business room with the racing flags on the wall and ZZ Top background music. Not to mention the very serious conversations involving words like "shit balls," "poop a loop," and "ass lips." I should have known better, I suppose.
With all my business travel as of late I haven't had any time to catch up with my friends. And by friends I mean celebrities and reality stars, of course. I don't even know who Ali chose, although I'm really keeping my fingers crossed it was Chris Harrison, that man deserves love already. What kind of shenanigans did my favorite Jersey Shore kids get into? Is Snooki still battling that awful eating disorder she often speaks of? Has The Situation been arrested for statutory rape yet? And most importantly, which teens didn't kill themselves this week thanks to MTV? I sure wish "If You Really Knew Me" was around when I was in high school. Perhaps my fellow classmates would have understood me a bit more and realized I wasn't actually stuck up, but in fact just as insecure as everyone else. Okay, okay I couldn't even finish that thought without laughing because it's so blatantly not true. So what though, I shouldn't be blamed for not having low self esteem. My motto has always been "if you don't like me or want to be my friend thats your loss because I'm pretty great." I think my whole self esteem assurance probably started back in preschool when I realized I was the fastest girl in class, faster than the boys even. By foot, by scooter, even doing the backwards crab walk, it didn't matter I dominated it all. So ya, during a time when the absolute only thing that mattered was gym class, (looks weren't a big deal yet, coloring was pretty lame, and intelligence hadn't quite set in) I think it's just natural that those who ruled the tiny tot gym would go on to lead confident, self esteem full lives. High school athletics, college games, they don't mean jack. Preschool is where it's at. So if you care at all about the health and well being of your child you will start working with them young. I'm not talking anything too intense, just simple things like adding whey protein or creatine to their bottles. Light lifting programs, maybe a P 90 X video or two. Anything that will give them that edge when it comes to the bean bag relays and inflatable obstacle courses.