Gangsters Paradise

I definitely jinxed myself with my cocky little "I'm not afraid of the ghetto" post yesterday. Today I saw the ghetto of the ghetto. It was a school I had never been to, a school I don't think any representative from anywhere has ever been to for that matter. In fact I know this because the teacher told me "most guest speakers won't come to our school." That's comforting. I knew the area was bad when it wasn't just the liquor stores with bars on their windows, but the Churches had them, as well. I saw women walking around in night gowns completely barefoot. In their defense, it was quite warm out today. And who hasn't walked around downtown Kansas City barefoot on their way into a liquor store at 9 in the morning? And then I drove into a cute little Mexican area, I jotted down a few restaurants I would like to return to. The high school was tucked away in a very old neighborhood, it was in between two apartment buildings that appeared to both have been set on fire a while ago. The high school was a huge old brick building surrounded by a metal fence. I double checked the sign to make sure I was indeed at a school and not a juvenile center. So I parked my car, took my GPS out of the front window, hid my sunglasses under my seat and buried my purse under a chefs jacket and two Target sacks just to be safe and then proceeded to lock my car at least five times and make my way in. As I was entering the school I could have sworn I heard the song "Gangsters Paradise" playing somewhere in the distance. Once inside I was greeted by a she-cop with very long braids hanging down her back.
I walked through the metal detector, this is something I have been accustomed to as of late. Naturally, it began to beep. The cop lady looked at me suspiciously.
"Oh it's ok," I said, "I bet my knives just set it off."
I don't think she was expecting me to say this.
"Yo wut?"
"My knifes, here you can see." I proceeded to hand her my knife kit which I had stylishly slung around my side.
"Ima need to see in all yo bags."
Okay. I didn't think this was really necessary, nor did I appreciate the way she was glaring at me and my knives. I'm dressed in a chefs coat for God's sake, what did she think this was all a part of some new gang? Blonde white girls in chef coats-we're known as the Whites. Anyway, she proceeds to dig through my suitcase, computer bag and then of course my big red cooler, as well. After she doesn't find any drugs or guns or the like, she decides to give me my visitor badge after checking over my ID. She then gets on her little walkie talkie and announces that visitor badge #4 has been assigned to a 5'8 white female who is on her way to the Home Ec room. Once again, I questioned whether I was in a school or a prison. An escort arrived at the entrance to lead me to the room I was speaking in. As I was led through the school I began to wonder if the announcement of a "white female visitor" was truly necessary as I clearly stood out like a sore white thumb. But, every teacher I passed was incredibly friendly. Like I said, guest speakers weren't exactly a common thing here. When the Home Ec teacher saw me she literally greeted me with a huge hug and repeatedly told me how thrilled she was to have me. And the kids didn't even bitch about me making a salad, no one even asked for fried chicken, and only a few wanted Kool Aid at the end. So all in all not a bad day, as I was sipping my iced coffee at about noon while sitting outside at a coffee shop in the Plaza I kinda felt bad for complaining about this job as much as I do. Just kinda though, because then I instantly thought of myself on that damn unicycle with the circus music playing and that feeling of dread came rushing back that I have to do my culinary tap dance all over again tomorrow.