Mondays.

Mondays. Monday, Monday, Monday. What an awful day. I can't pinpoint what exactly I don't like about this day, besides everything of course. Maybe it's the fact that it reminds us we're back on the hamster wheel for another five days. We fought so hard to make it to Friday last week and then in the blink of an eye (after numerous drinks, greasy food, and some major couch time) we're suddenly right back at square one. It's a very defeating, monotonous feeling. The morning comes too fast, then it drags on until lunch like an over played, extended episode of the Kardashians, and then the afternoon is just a series of clock watching and self loathing. By the end of it all, I'm far too exhausted to do any of the things I had initially planned to do when I got home when I was strung out on caffeine upon first coming into work. My morning intentions are always so productive until about 10:30. Then it just all goes to shit and the weight of the week kills my spirit.

I wonder if celebrities hate Mondays, too? Very doubtful. They probably don't even realize it's Monday.  It's just another day in their life of constant leisure. Since I already brought up the dreaded Kardash's I'll use them as an example. Oh how dreadful it must be to get up on a Monday and return to their busy life of promoting perfumes, cheap clothing lines, diet pills, and whatever else they think of to include in their whorish brand. 

"Welp, it's Monday. Time to get ready for my hectic, whorish day as an Armenian tranny, only able to communicate via baby talk, while selling anything and everything I can within grasp. Anotha day, anotha soul sold to the devil."

I knew I shouldn't have watched Kim's wedding special yesterday. It just got me all sorts of angry. Jealous much? Yeah a little. But only because this awful family has managed to make a fortune doing absolutely nothing. The day someone figures out why this family is famous they too will probably become famous. Here's my quick breakdown on the Kardashians.

Kim: I just don't get it. What is the attraction to this girl? Her makeup, her hair, her nasty ass, it's all too much. Everything that comes out of her mouth is a complaint about how busssssy she is or how much she cares about being so busssssy. Oh life is soooo hard. Maybe she should just take a nice relaxing trip somewhere exotic... (insert Living Social plug.)

Kourtney: I don't hate her much as the others, except for the way she treats Scott. Scott is the one witty glimmer of light in this show. Let this guy talk please.

Khloe: The root of all evil. This oversized Amazon woman needs to stop. Just stop everything. Babytalk coming out of an Armenian gorilla is not attractive. And the constant, in-your-face, disgusting comments are too much. They were cute like five years ago, when they were coming out of the mouth of Nichole Richie on The Simple Life. And Nichole Richie is pint sized, that's the only reason it was cute. There's a reason Ellen only has tiny YouTube stars on her show. Would SuperBass have been as adorable if it was Rosie O'Donnell rapping it in a pink tu-tu? Ew.

And now I've gone and spent more time than ever intended talking about the Kardashians. I apologize. This Monday just keeps getting worse and worse. I'm ready for Tuesday, I need to wash this bitterness off.