Living la vida Bachelorette

So here goes one of my first pretty drunk blogs. How drunk you ask? Not college drunk by any means, but definitley post-college life is lame so I drink to forget at a bachelorette- drunk. So why are you blogging? Good question. Right now were waiting to get into our "pole dancing" session in downtown Kansas City. Why quote pole dancing? No idea, just felt right. So right now, literally NOW, I sit in my secluded corner in the stripper waitig room as I listen to three drunk fellow bachelorettes discuss why they're "not ready to have babies." How did this happen I wonder? How did my life go from sporadic day drinking to organized (very organized we had an agenda) day drinking in which discussions revolve around babies and ring shopping? And...

"Why aren't you engaged yet?"

Because Chris and I blush at the thought of kissing in front an engagement photographer.

"When will you be engaged?"

As soon as we stop feeling like we're 12 year olds.

"Open your knees out, butterfly them," the instructor says to Codi as Nebbia and I watch from the couch with a Bud Light in hand. It's not that we're Debbie Downers, I just prefer to watch from the couch rather than feel my inner thigh squeak against the squeaky pole like a fat kid going down a water slide sans water.

So people really get paid to teach drunk bachelorette girls how to pole dance I think to myself as I sit on the cheap leather couches wearing their provided glitter stripper wedger heels. I wear a size ten in these things, I can only imagine the type of drag queens that have put these on. Why do I make an ass of myself in front of highschoolers when I could get paid to make an ass of myself in front of annoying bachelorette girls? Life is a funny thing. The same girls who were taunted as being sluts in college are
now being praised as great strippers post college. After my big fall while trying to attempt to the no hands hang upside down hang I can't really move from this pole. It hurts. Pretty sure I bruised my outter thigh real bad. Strippers deserve more credit than the world gives them. Life on the pole is hard work, and most of us weren't even beaten or bruised by our pimps before coming here.. Most of us...

So after watching our instructors ass for over 55 minutes I think I'm ready to go. Stripping is fun and all when you're Jesse Spano without Saved By the Bell, but right now the fun has wained. I'm ready to trash it up at Power and Light for the next few hours. Bring on the guidos. Bring on the Ed Hardy. Cheers to Bachelorettes, we're first class, cheers to Bachs', let's hope this trend pass-es.

If I have grammatical errors get over it. At least I could spell grammatical.