A Bachelorette Kinda Night

So what set our bachelorette party aside from the 600 hundred other Bachelorettes at Power and Light last night? Bride-to-be in an elegant white cocktail dress. Check. Tiara and sash. Check, check. A gaggle of at least ten other girls (not in white) obediently/drunkenly following the bride from bar to bar "wooing" and screaming at any given moment. Definitely had that. But so did the sweet Asian Bachelorette, and also the not so sweet over aged Bachelorette group from Iowa. So what was it then? I guess the only other option would have to be the six foot tall inflatable penis we (Carrie and Kim) carried around to every bar with us. Bingo. There was a Bach who had a toy and Penis was it's name-o. P-E-N-I-S.

If you're on Facebook you've most definitely already seen some mobile uploads of this ridiculousness, and if you haven't well then you're probably not on Facebook. Our six foot tall friend was the hit of the party. I felt like Selena Gomez out with the Biebs the way everyone kept coming up to us wanting to take a picture, or wanting to hold it, or play with it, or just touch its cute messy blonde haircut. Little Care was such a classy Bachelorette and just daintily carried the penis with her as if it was an expensive hand bag or clutch. Kim on the on the hand preferred to arm herself with it like it was her own Bazooka, she kept it ready over her shoulder and was set to fire at any douche coming our way. Once inside Howl at the Moon the singer on stage even gave us a shout out of, "Hey Bachelorettes with the huge penis, tables just opened up in the front." This sure pissed off the other Bachelorettes in the place as we all cockily (do I even need to say pun intended) marched our way to the front and plopped our annoying selves down at the tables. If there's one thing a Bachelorette party doesn't like, and of course we know there is at least 50 things a Bach party doesn't like, but one of the biggest things is when the attention is on another (better looking) Bach party. Which duh ours obviously was. A fight almost broke out early on in the night when a fellow bride-to-be tried to snatch our penis at dinner and run off with it. But nobody takes our most important member (again, do I even need to say pun intended) and gets away with it. Kam didn't let that sorry fool get so much as five feet away before she was in her face grabbing the weiner back. But anyway, Howl was just as fun and repetitive as it always is. We clapped to the same songs, the singers told the same jokes they always do, and we cheered and threw our fists in the air when we paid enough to hear the Nebraska fight song. And then of course the nasty Iowans next to us had to pay more to hear their song and listen to the silly piano players make rude jokes about Nebraska. Damn those piano players and the amount of power they hold. If only I had enough musical talent to play in a dualing piano bar someday where my most requested songs were school fight songs... I can dream.

After Howl it was obviously time for a little 90s fun at Shark Bar. I like to think of Shark Bar as the bar where the cast of Saved By the Bell probably would have hung out (if they drank.) So this place is for dancing. Hot, sweaty elevated dancing. Dancing on a floor is so blah, dancing on a bench is just so much cooler. Thank God Shark Bar has finally figured this out. I think that's what I love about Power and Light, they just take everything to the next level. You just can't beat a place like P&L. I really wonder what Bach parties did before this wonderful establishment came to place. Dave and Busters? Argosy? Worlds of Fun? If only all the rumors would finally come true in Omaha and they too would get something similar to P&L. But then who would go to the Max or Parliament anymore? It can be a risky move creating a place where all the tools in the town are able to drink under the same roof.

But anyway, yesterday was a great last hoorah for Carrie's single life and for my Kansas life. May we never have to return to either.