The GodPot Weekend is Here!

Tye and Zach are going to the chapel... And they're gonna get marr-er-ried. And of course when I say chapel I mean Country Club, which in Arizona is basically one in the same. Everybody worships in their own way. But really I'm no stranger to Country Clubs, I've been a member of the elite Norfolk CC since I was born. Couldn't be that different, I mean besides the fact in AZ they might not have just a rotation of three-four workers filling the role of whatever job is necessary for the day like at NCC. But I like the fact that one day Tammy is my bartender and the next day she's giving golf lessons. Not sure I believe she has her life guard license like she often pretends to, but whatever, teach your kids to swim.

But back to the matter at hand: the GodPot Wedding extravaganza. Unless you've been living under a Facebook rock, you know exactly what I'm talking about. The day when Zach and Tye become one, a unit, hubby and wife til death do they part. If TLC was making a show about them it would be called Little Wife Big Husband.  If Bravo was making a show it would be called The Real Housewife of Jacksonville, the Caucasian version. But call it what you want, this event has been months in the making. Ashley Wergin has literally been counting the seconds for this weekend for nine months now. She's had her first grade students sewing a martial blanket every single day until their fingers bleed. Tyeler has personally bought out every single white dress Nordstroms has ever owned for showers and parties and whatever else brides-to-be have to attend.  And Zach, well this guy has filled the role of groom, consultant, wedding planner, stylist, ext. Tye says he has been the go-to guy regarding everything from flower choice, to center pieces, to chair covers, he apparently even chose the Bridesmaid dresses. Tye said he has "a vision," and she just has to stick to it because he's been planning every detail of his dream wedding for as long as he can remember. Who would have ever thought? Zach Potter. So adorable. 

I feel like it was just yesterday Tye was in the initial crush stage of this relationship. Creeping on Zach's Facebook all the time, driving by his house to see if he's home, tapping his phone line- you know all the cute things girls do in the start of a new relationship. And then there were the times in Spanish class sophomore year when Zach and Tye would constantly flirt like ten year olds causing our teacher, Celeste, to legitimately get mad because she too had such a crush on Zach. Pretty sure Tye is damn thankful today that Zach chose her over a 40 year old Spanish woman who said yes like "ghesh" and didn't shave her legs or mustache.  What can you say, it's just fate these two are together. It's all a part of His plan. Yup, that Tom Osborne is a real planner.  He knew that if Zach Potter ended up with a Spanish woman there would be a good chance he'd end up living in Spain, so I'm sure he shipped Ms. Celeste back to ol Country the minute he got whiff of this before she could make another move. T.O. just couldn't risk the chance of losing good Nebraska athletic offspring to another country. Sure Zach and Tye might not live in Nebraska now, but I think we all know that in twenty plus years there will be little Potters continuing on the legacy at the University. Zach's size and Tye's arm will make for one helluva softball player down the road, you can't deny that. 

So it's not until tomorrow and Friday when most of the other Nebraska guests arrive. For some reason I just can't shake the image of The Beverly Hillbillies Wedding scene when all the Clampit guests arrive in Los Angeles. I know it's completely untrue, Omaha after all is a big city. We have a Trader Joes for Gods sake! But still, that image of the Clampits just brings a smile to my eye every time. God love Nebraska and the reputation we have everywhere else except in the states of South Dakota and Iowa. My weekend just wont be complete until I see at least ten people in Husker attire. Luckily, my dad gets in tomorrow. And Knox too, hopefully he's strutting the new "LaFleur" Husker  jersey Grandma L just had made for him. Nothin says team spirit more than infants dressed in personalized jerseys.

But finally, let the wedding fun begin! Tyeler and Zach, married at last. Let sorority girls all over cheer! It can really happen, a football player and a sorority girl, happily ever after! I just hope everything goes really well this weekend, which I'm sure it will. But just to be cautious, (and because I'm bored on the plane) I've come up with a quick list of what could go wrong just to be prepared.

1. Westboro shows up to protest the wedding of a couple named "Zach" and "Tyeler."

2. One of Tye's bridesmaids (probably Katherine Heigel) shows up wearing the wrong dress.

3. For some reason beyond explanation other than it happens all the time in movies, Zach ends up having to wear Brady's tuxedo.

4. The band plays Ke$ha's "Tic Toc" but forgets to play "Forever" by John Stamos.

5. Tye's Arizona friend follows through with an old threat and does indeed punch me in the face.

6. Wergin doesn't catch the bouquet.

7. Wergin does catch the bouquet.

8. Anne Hathaway sneaks in and plays a video of Tye on Spring Break for all guests to see. Acapulco '07 Tye, I'm talking "pool day."

9. Tye's special moment of putting her Wedding dress on is creeped upon by a wedding guest (Carl Pelini).

10. The best man quotes Charlie Sheen during his speech..... Or doesn't quote him, which would be worse?


I guess no matter what arises nothing will change the fact that Saturday evening Tyeler Angela Godbout will become Tyeler Angela Potter. From TAG to TAP, and that's that.