Hellooooo Weekend.

TGIF. So much. This has been one of the longest weeks ever and I am so ready to be at home on my couch with a glass of wine or a beer. Maybe both. Gross? Not at all, I love double fisting Chardonnay and Michelob Ultras, it’s a nice mixture of class and trash. So why the long week you ask? Oh nothing in particular. I mean besides having the worst possible call with two of my “superiors” yesterday. It’s not that I struggle with authority, I just don’t like people telling me what to do. Tell me once, fine, I’ll get it done. But please resist the urge to micromanage me. I understand a job requires a boss, I just really don’t like them, especially when they try to act like this is a real job because it’s not. Serving Watermelon salsa to teenagers does not a job make. I also hate when bosses try to psycho analyze you, they continued to ask me on the call “what is going on with you”, “is everything okay”, “why are your numbers so low”, “why are you so different this year from last year?” Well, I’m not really sure, just go with me here, I know this sounds like a CRAZZZY idea, but perhaps it might have something to do with the ten snow days I was unable to work? No? Not a good excuse, you’re right, what was I thinking. Missing ten days of work wouldn’t affect sales numbers. So what then? Maybe I might seem different because I am just so mentally broken down from the daily abuse I face from ungrateful high school students and the way in which it has completely shattered my self worth. Nope. Not that either, that would require me to actually care. I wish I would have been just a tad more witty/drunk during this call because I would have loved for nothing more than to respond to every question with,

“My numbers are low? Yeah right, more like WINNER!”

“You think I don’t care anymore? Puh lease I’m just tired of you trolls harassing me all the time. WINNER!”

“You want to see improvement? How? How could I possibly be any better, I’m already just handing out gold like it’s candy. That’s what I do. I’m magic. WINNER!”

Yeah, that’s right. I’m still quoting Sheen. Deal with it, he’s one of the few inspirational people keeping me going right now. Well, he and the upcoming royal wedding. I just think it’s all very exciting. A wedding this grand hasn’t happened since J Lo married that Italian looking monkey. I just think they’re such a great couple, really down to earth. I’m very anxious to see how everything unfolds, I just hope for the couples sake that the paparazzi doesn’t hound the event. I mean I know the groom is used to the spotlight, he’s Zach Potter for God’s sake! He’s signed more autographs than Tommy Frazier, who let’s be honest is a pretty big deal. I’ll never forget the day he came to the Norfolk mall and my dad took me and brother to wait in line to get his autograph on a poster, it was so cool. And Jordan was just so excited when he got to step around the table and even take a photo with Zach, it was adorable! That was definitely one of my highlights of last year. But anyway, I just worry about Tye, she’s not so good with attention. She gets all red and blotchy and her eyes start to water. Hopefully Zach will be able to calm her down, or she’d probably get ready to do the walk down the aisle and turn and run when she saw everyone staring at her. Or I could also see her telling everyone to turn around and stop staring.

Regardless, it’s gonna be a great wedding. I’m making sure to bring a Sharpie in my purse because I’m thinking if I play my cards right I might be able to get Suh to sign a few things. A football signed by Suh would for sure be a hot item at the Wolfe family Christmas exchange. And I’ll probs bring a few jerseys, maybe a hat, and a pair of white Adidas shoes would be cool to have him sign too, I mean for my dad. But that’s it, I don’t want to look like an idiot or anything! Us Nebraskans have to represent the state well in front of all dem fancy Arizona people. I have a feeling this will be the most amount of Nebrasky people Arizona has ever seen at a single time. And I know what those people out there think of us and so I fully intend to shatter every preconceived notion those Snottsdale people might have. I am only bringing the best of the best looking Husker attire I own and I am getting a highlite and a perm for the weekend! I’m even getting a professional manicure done, with jewels and everything! Next weekend will surely be a weekend to remember, and if it’s as fun as I know it will be, I’m a bit sad to say I won’t remember much at all.

So happy weekend everybody, it's time for a drink. And as for the bullshit of jobs and idiot bosses, I plan to do like the BYU player and just screw it anyway.