SADs and WUDs

My Christmas break ended today. I had to pull out the old Chefs jacket and Chuck Taylor's and head into high school finally. It was rough. As if it isn't hard enough getting up in the morning, let's just throw in sub zero temps for the fun of it. I didn't get my nice leisurely morning of watching the Today Show and sipping on coffee like I've grown so accustomed to in the past 3 1/2 weeks. When I finally got up out of bed Harlow just stayed under the blankets and stared at me with a look of complete content, he was obviously happy to not have to get up. Then again, that look of "content" could have also been a look of satisfaction as he might have just been peeing in the bed at that moment. He doesn't exactly favor going outside to pee in this cold weather right now. He's gotten quite sneaky in the fact that now when he has to pee he simply just continues to casually stroll around the house while relieving himself. He doesn't stop or squat or anything, I think he has caught onto the fact that I catch him when he does this and he gets scolded and thrown outside into the blizzard. So now instead I'll just happen to look down at the carpet when it's too late because it appears someone has been practicing their alphabet with a squirt gun all over the floor. I really think one time he spelled out "sorry" with his urine, but I am not for sure. So anyway once I was finally up it was a real struggle to get ready. Although I hesitate to say "ready," as brushing my teeth and hair really seems more just like simple hygiene. But that's really all I could do today, I guess you could say "I couldn't wind myself up for the day," or even "take the dog for a walk." It's my damn SAD kicking into place, I'm a self diagnosed Seasonal Affective Disorder survivor. It's a hard disease to live with, but I am just thankful it is finally recognized as being a true disease. Now if only I could get a doctor to declare WUD as a disorder, as well. Winter Ugly Disorder really isn't something to be taken lightly. It's incredibly hard on the self esteem, and also the waistline. I think that if there were commercials on tv about WUD it would definitely make me feel better about my appearance, also perhaps give me an excuse for looking like shit all of the time.

"Recent photos tagged of you on Facebook got you feeling down? Do the jeans from fall not fit quite as well? Is your hair often mistaken for hay? Does your skin look like that of an Amish woman? These are all symptoms of W.U.D. If your nails are bitter, and your hang nails looked like they've been chewed by dogs, well then you could be suffereing from Winter Ugly Disorder. Don't wait until your legs actually morph into real alligator skin, see a doctor today. Because just think, for as much as you don't like seeing yourself look like shit, somebody out there does like seeing you look like shit. Don't give them that."

Clearly I haven't given it much thought, but I could see a commercial going something like that. Maybe the spokesperson could be like Hilary Duff or someone. I think she has WUD. Also Christina Ricci. Oh oh and Ali Fedowski. I'm just thinking out loud here.