It's a hard Knox life

Well, after a very long and painful delivery day, twelve hours to be exact, one very brave girl made it through it all, and with her head held high. And Jade did pretty good, as well. But I'm talking about me, because I really had a tough time. It was just a day of waiting and waiting and waiting, and some drinks at Kona for a few hours. Hospital waiting rooms can be quite boring. There was a computer in the waiting room, but creeping on a public computer just makes me feel weird. I always think the person I happen to be creeping on is somehow going to randomly appear behind me and catch me.

I didn't tell Jade this, but I was starting to question the character of my little nephew after about the 7th hour. I didn't want to make preconceived judgements or anything, but punctuality is very important to me. Especially on first impressions, no less. Finally when I had almost had enough because the pain medication (cocktails) seemed to be wearing off and I could no longer take the brutality (of waiting around) the chimes at the hospital rang "Twinkle twinkle" letting us know another baby had been born. A few moments later the new daddy, Bill, came strutting in to announce the good news.

At 8:47 p.m. Knox James Lafleur graced the world with his presence. And this arrival time made more sense to me after I thought about it because no one cool shows up to a party before 8:00 p.m. anyway, so of course I didn't hold any grudges. I was just jealous he thought of it before I did. He came out weighing 8 lbs, and was 21 inches in length... Chew on that thought for a minute... Ouch. Or don't. I was nervous to hold little Knox at first since I hadn't held a baby since about sixth grade. Was I supposed to sit down in a chair first I wondered? Or was I old enough to be able to hold him on my own? I quickly tried to recall how Macy would hold Beemer when he was an infant, but that was back in season one and all I could picture was Amber screaming swear words and painting on her brows while throwing gangsta signs. I panicked and got all nervous and confused and decided it would be best if I let my mom hold him and I would just rest my head underneath him, seemed like the safest option at this point.

The thing that I couldn't get over was the fact that just hours before, this living baby was actually inside of my sister, and now it was out and was a real life person. It was in the belly, then out. In, then out. Very similar to it's conception, but still the whole process is just so mind boggling to me. I think I'm going to be stuck on this whole birth thing for a while. Going right along the subject of birth is the subject of nursing. Did you know there are specific nurses just for this? I think they're called lactating nurses or something. They're sole job is to get a baby to suck on a nipple. Just another day at the office, squeezing boobs and taking names. NBD. Guess a sucky day for one of these nurses isn't... When it came time for the nursing coach to come in and instruct Jade I made the stupid decision to stay in the room. What can I say, I was curious. I've seen someone nurse before, but only on TV and Mama Duggar is pretty private, or when I was little and used to try to sneak glances at the over productive catholic women in church. The nurse dropped phrases "football breast position," and "stimulating the nipular area," and my favorite, "nipple sandwich." I didn't recall seeing that on the room service menu. But the funniest part was that the nurse would actually start emulating the baby's sucking movements. As the baby would start sucking, she too would start air sucking as if to push him along. Before I knew it I was air sucking too. It was a very special bonding moment for all in the room.

Today is the day that Knox had to get his little pecker snipped, the poor guy. I would tend to say this might be one of the hardest days in a man's life, it's a good thing it happens so early in. But Jade said he took it like a champ and was already back to strutting around in his baby robe hitting on all of the infant girls like it was no big deal. Apparently, a few of the little girls already saw the Nebraska Football blanket he was wearing around and were already trying to grab on. Skanky jersey chasers, so typical. What can you do though, it's a hard Knox life, and his is just getting started.