Chpt 16 Going to the Chapel... and I'm Gonna Update My Status

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something Facebook blue.

It all begins with the status update "is engaged!" And with those two little words the congratulations begin to flood your wall. The girl who sat next to you your sophomore year of college in Geology gets to tell you how happy she is for you before even your grandma has the chance (unless grandma is on Facebook.) Within hours the entire engagement event is posted into an album. We get to see every sweet detail the fiancé planned, from clues hidden around the house to ending up in a party room with surprise! family and friends waiting to celebrate. It's all very sweet, sometimes when I'm looking through these albums I'll pour myself a glass of champagne to pretend I'm right there celebrating. But then I remember I don't even know the bride or the groom but just happened to land at their party after hours of creeping.

I blame Facebook for the rise of frantic young girls seeking an engagement- more specifically I mean frantic young single girls trying to find someone to date for 6-8months, so it won't be too soon when they announce they're engagement via Fb. Hell, I get tempted to get engaged based solely on the fact champagne is my most favorite drink ever. And then throw in the mass amount of wall attention the bride-to-be gets, we're talking more attention than a birthday even. You've got the well wishers who actually write stuff, but you've also got the jealous creepers who just creep hoping to get a few more details. Then there are parties for the bride every other week- oh, and the groom too, he gets to come, as well. And a pretty ring and presents and at least ten of her closest friends on their best behavior anxiously awaiting the wedding party to be announced. Doesn't sound too bad to me, either. But then I remember that marriage typically coincides with an engagement and a wedding so I am able to relax for a few years.

So after Facebook Girl has gone through years of torture and heartbreak, gradually her relationship status begins to change less and less. And finally it seems Fb girl's wishes are coming true, she has found the Affliction man of her dreams! But this doesn't come as a huge shock as we have seen a few posts from her regarding "ring shopping with my love..." and "princess cut or oval?" Not only does she not want a surprise engagement, she doesn't want the Facebook world to be surprised, either. I think that's very considerate.

As expected, her Facebook life becomes her Facebook wedding planning life. Facebook fills the role of wedding planner, "what flowers go good with a June wedding?" Mother of the braid,"my mom wants to wear a grey dress that I think looks creme, should I let her?" And even shrink, "I am so stressed right now, I just don't know what's right or not anymore!" How reassuring for the groom, he probably doesn't realize she's talking about napkin color.

Every step of the way it seems Facebook is there documenting it to the very last detail.

FbGirl: "So much to plan in so little time how am I going to do it?!"

Ah yes, I forget you are the first bride to ever plan a wedding.

FbGirl: "Got the church, reception hall and band booked. Happy to check the big things off! So far so good!"

Now just to find a groom...

FbGirl: "Trying on more dresses. Should I do ivory or white? Strap less or sleeves?Lace or flowers?"

Take photos of all of them and put them into an album and let all your Facebook friends vote on their favorite!

FbGirl: "Two weeks and counting until the big day. Hopefully all the planning pays off and we have the best wedding ever!"

Yes, I've heard it's all downhill after the Wedding.

FbGirl: "So excited! Just about to walk down the aisle!"

Quick! Send a mobile photo to Facebook with that exact caption!