Bachelor Edition- Why hasn't Brad just chosen Em already?

First of all, I'd like to start by saying BITCH shut yo mouth. I know that sounds ghetto, but that's how I'm feeling after seeing that one ho whine all night about Em Em getting all the attention. Well guess what skank, deal with it. I'm sorry you don't feel "special," actually I'm not sorry. I don't feel sorry for you one bit. I feel sorry for Em and all the pain that poor little angel has been through in her life. Are you seriously gonna complain that she's getting too much attention because "she has the most problems?" You're jealous of the fact that God took her wonderful Ricky way too early in life and then left a little 19 year old Emily pregnant with her deceased fiance's baby to carry for nine months? Would going through all of that make you feel SPECIAL, Alli?!

But let's move on because I get too heated thinking about someone picking on Emily. Let's talk about a lighter subject, like perhaps the fact that Chris Harrison appeared to have gone shopping through Cam's closet again. Cam as in the gay fat man from Modern Family. Anyone else notice the pin stripe shirt with the froo froo designs on the cuffs? It had Modern Family written all over it.

Next up... It's Vegas time! I can't think of the last time I've been told news that actually made me jump up and down. I don't know if any news has ever made me jump and down. It seems to happen to these girls every episode. Watching the group travel together and skip and frolick through airports made me very embarassed for them. Imagine traveling with a pack of energetic weird girls you don't really know. I'm sure people were just pointing and saying, "oh look it's the girls from the Bachelor." That just strikes me as incredibly humiliating. It's basically like saying "oh look, it's the desperate girls who go on reality shows to try to find a boyfriend."

So next up Chantal gets to go on a shopping spree. So... Brad chooses the funeral girl from a small town who is frequently seen in cowboy boots and tacky sweaters to purchase new clothes for? Well that was nice. I especially liked the bedazzled, feathery sweater she got. I would bet that in her profession she can probably wear whatever she wants to work. I would tend to say nothing would stir her customers too much. And what a great way to end the date "with a bang" when the fireworks went off. That was so awesome! I especially think it was cute when it became evident that this was the first time many of the girls had seen fireworks before the way they all pressed their faces to the windows and... once again jumped up and down with excitment.

And now to the Nascar date. Classy touch, ABC. If I'm correct, I believe I actually "joked" about the idea of going on a Nascar date a few weeks ago. First ABC set up that Emily would go on a plane ride with Brad, this week it was a Nascar date, and is next week going to be the plane crash ride I joked about, as well? Or maybe Brad will knock her up. Anything for ratings, eh? Well it makes me sick. Because had it been any other girl you know damn well they would have been milking their sad siutation to the nines. But not Em. She wasn't even going to say a word. Even as she is balling in the racecar she says, "no, no I am excited, let's do this." She is just a doll, I think everyone should be more like her. And that nasty black haired wench Alli needs to be ran over or beaten with a stick. Something to make sure she feels "special" afterward.

So the rose ceremony was pretty much same ol same ol. Michelle displayed her crazy devil side again and told Brad he couldn't talk or she would boil a rabbit and kill his mom. Awful Alli got her way and was given a chocolate to make sure she felt special. Chantal wore a dress that I would expect someone with the name Chantal to wear. Britt the anorexic from South Sioux who doesn't talk some how managed to get another rose. Jackie the lizard also slipped by for another week. And the usual dark haired girls no one knows were sent home in tears. Shocker. They all cried in the confessional and said really original things like,

"I guess I just really wanted a rose." Really?

"Just makes me question everything." You should, you're how old and still single?

"I just feel really rejected again." Yeah, because you were.

"I just put myself out there again, and for no one." Not really, you put yourself out there for all of America to see.

"I just left so much behind to come here in hopes of love." I'm gonna guess your job at Dillards will still be there, so will your DVR.

"I just have so much to give, when will I find someone ready to accept it?" Honestly? Maybe never.