Why must vacations always end in an airport?

Let's talk for a second about the most powerful people in the world: The TSA. The people who hold the power to tell you to get into a different line even if the line you are currently in is shorter. The people who get to decide what is a purse and what is a bag. The people
who get to look at all of your personal belongings and very carefully decide if that hairbrush in your bag is indeed a beauty tool or is it a tool that could be used to hijack a plane? They look closely, then start to let it go through then ooops second guess themselves and back it up on the conveyor belt. Look, move along, then back up... The question on their face displays they better call for a second opinion. So then a young woman struts in, braids swinging side to side, she then very carefully and ever so slowly puts on some blue plastic gloves (because airport workers seem so germophobic?) and begins to unpack my carry on. A bag that took me quite a while to finally close I might add. I always mini panic when my suitcase is opened in public fearing something will fall out like God forbid underwear! Oh the embarrassment of having complete strangers I will never see again know the color of my unders!! In the end the brush is fine- the Mac lipgloss however, must go. I saw the womans huge lips, I know damn well that gloss isn't being thrown away. As if we don't notice the TSA women wear all the makeup they take from us travellers. As well as the perfume, hairspray and maybe even deodorant- eh scratch that, they clearly don't steal that. And am I the only one who absolutely dreads walking barefoot the ten steps through the metal detector? I keep my shoes on as long as possible and then tip toe the rest of the way, in my mind the tips of toes don't pick up germs.
Does anyone else find it odd that the very people responsible for our country's safety don't typically appear to be from this country? Don't mean this racist, I just find it weird is all that as they're telling me what to do I usually struggle to understand them. Is a TSA degree like the number one degree at Kaplan? Are TSA workers walking examples of people who have broken that awful cycle of " I don't have a job because I don't have a degree, I don't have a degree because I don't have any money, I don't have any money because I don't have a job... (speed up cycle until it spins out of control in fast speaking voice.)
On another note- the final day at the tournament was quite an experience. Yesterday was the most golf I have ever watched in my life. But really I only watched about 20 minutes, I spent the rest of the day looking at what the other spectators were wearing. For the most part female golf watchers have great style. And many players, as well. In my other life where I go to fashion school in NY and scoff at fake designers like Whitneyink Port and secrectly befriend Olivia, I would def become a stylist for PGA players. I kid you not the Euro players are fashion risk takers. As usual, most Americans were so predictable. Phil in black, Tiger in his infamous Scarlett letter, I mean Scarlett red Nike shirt. Awful joke, I had to though. Speaking of Mr. Tiger, he was much better looking in person. But everytime I looked at him I couldn't help but think of those nasty texts he had sent those Baby phat wearing women regarding things like "spanking, slapping, choking" you get the picture, and so did I, so I always turned away pretty quick before I started to blush.
Sitting in the airport now waiting on my hour delayed flight I feel the two signs of a successful trip: an empty wallet and painfully tight jeans.