Nobody knew it at the time, but on November 6th, 2012, during the 57th Presidential election
something much bigger was brewing than just Obama being reelected for four more years.
Hah. If only life could have been that simple.
On that night,
for every single political related Facebook post, or Tweet, or Instagram,
you were being entered into the first annual Social Media Games.
I had a lot of entries that first year. I still feel so lucky I was never chosen.
But I had many friends that were. God bless their souls.
Anyway, even Romney (he was the Mormon guy who ran against Obama at the time)
and former President Obama didn't see it coming.
Needless to say, they were both chosen to participate that year.
That Mark Zuckerberg is one sick sonofabitch the way he conjured up these demonic games.
But I didn't just say that...
That first year nobody knew what was going on.
I still remember that feeling of WTF as Zucky explained the rules via Facebook
on November 7th.
1. Every single political social media update counted as 1 entry.
2. Any blatantly negative or rude political updates counted as 2 entries.
3. And any updates from dip shit people who clearly had no idea what in the hell was going on
were automatically chosen.
(Thus the reason for all of the celebs who were forced to go.)
It was brutal.
And those were just the entry rules.
The actual games were the real sick part.
Once chosen, the players were forced to leave their family and friends behind
(they could bring their iphones though)
and were relocated to an arena in a completely foreign land (North Dakota, I think.)
And in this arena.... Good God I can hardly say it,
there was no WIFI or 4G!!!! Or phone chargers. This was all a part of the Games.
And then once everyone was all together, each player was forced to read aloud every one of their social media updates,
face to face, to every single other player. And there were millions that year.
Mind you this was all broadcast (via social media of course.)
As if this wasn't torture enough, every player was then sentenced to live out their words literally.
Many people were shipped to another country.
Some had to jump off bridges. Bank accounts were emptied on the spot.
Actual bags of shit were dumped on people. This part was pretty gross, I have to say.
But then something weird happened, after about only 48 hours into the Games,
people actually started to forget why they were even there.
Without their phones to update them, most became at a loss for words.
The arguments lessened. The chatter decreased. And soon they were all inquiring about the Kardashian's and online holiday sales.
Moral of the story- don't write random ass blog posts at midnight.
Sorry, I got caught in the shitstorm that was Twitter last night and just couldn't help myself
from writing something like this.
Did I want Romney to win? Yup.
But will I still get up tomorrow and put my pants on one leg at a time like normal? Yup.
(permitted I put on pants tomorrow.)
I guess at the end of the day I'm just happy to live in a country where we're allowed
to act like ass hates on social media.
Wonder what women in the Middle East tweet about during elections?
Or people at the lowest level of the Caste System in India?
And what about the people all over the world in refugee camps at this very moment?
Just a thought.
What do I know though.
Tomorrow I'll probably write something that's completely ridiculous and contradictory of all this.
But hey, I'm an American, so I guess I can.
Peace out.
