Dr. Seuss's The Terrorist Who Stole Everything.

I've only ever watched two episodes of Glee in my entire life. I watched the Britney Spears episode (duh) and I watch last night's episode because they sang Rebecca Black's "Friday." Look whose laughing now. Rebecca and myself because I've been a fan of that awesome song since the beginning. Shit gets real when Glee starts singing about it. I just keep waiting for her to come out with another single already. I hope she sticks to what she knows and continues to sing about days of the week. But back to Glee, I just don't know what to think about that show. Everything about it tells me to hate it, but I will admit, I find it kind of interesting. I just can't figure out if it's a satire or not. Are they making fun of glee kids or celebrating them? After I was Gleekd out I watched a behind the scenes look at the life of Osama. All terrorist qualities aside, he seemed like a normal American guy. He loved Coca Cola, everything Apple, and Whitney Houston. It was said that he even considered having Bobby Brown (the woman beater not the makeup artist) killed a time or two. Maybe Osama was just seriously obsessed with the U.S. (who isn't though) and we never really accepted him so that's why he decided to make it his purpose in life to destroy us. I've known a few people like this in life. I can't help but picture his childhood like that of the Grinch. As a little boy he would come to his American elementary school and all the naughty little kids would make fun of his huge black beard. So one day he tried to shave all his hair but failed miserably so he started wearing a towel on his head. And the nasty little Whos just made all the more fun of him for it so he was forced to live in a mountain for the rest of his life. The more you think about it it's eerily similar to Dr. Seuss's story isn't it? Although, I'm not sure if the Grinch had sex slaves he forced to live with him or not? I know there was Cindy Lou Who, but she seemed to want to be there...She was a child though. Chris Hansen should look into that. If only Osama would have settled for stealing gum drops and teddy bears rather than crashing planes into buildings he might still be alive and well today living with Whitney in a mansion somewhere doing drugs off a marble counter top just like the Grinch with Martha May. No sympathy for that creep though. None at all. And same for Osama.

Two more days of work. Two more days of serving high schoolers watermelon salsa and then not again for almost three months. The joy I feel when thinking about this is a joy that can't be put into words. But I'll try. It's comparable to taking your last final and then getting to your car the second before the meter bitch lays a ticket down and then going home on traffic free streets and having a beer and sitting outside on your patio in a cool breeze looking at an ocean surrounded by your friends discussing the night ahead where you will be drinking for free at all the best bars while being taken around on a party bus driven by John C. Reilly. Yeah, I guess I would say it's kinda like that.

In the meantime I plan to take it easy and enjoy this heatwave passing through Topeker. 95 degrees and humid? Yes please! Am I the only person who genuinely enjoys humidity? I would hate to live in a place where it's not almost the exact same temp when you go to bed as it was in the middle of the afternoon. I love the feeling of damp dank moisture in the air. God love Midwestern summers. Hope you all are enjoying this humpday as much as I am. Wednesday means Friday is just two short days away. And this Friday I'll find myself celebrating in Omaha, so if you're around and in the mood to buy me a birthday shot don't be a stranger! I'm feeling a good old fashioned college sloppy weekend coming on. Oohhh I get vodka goosebumps just thinking about it.