And the Oscar goes to...

And the Oscar goes to... Me. It goes to me for sitting through that entire pretentious awards show. I'm only half way serious, I didn't think it was that bad. Although I have been hearing that it was labeled "the most boring Oscars of all time." But I find it hard to believe that in all of it's 83 years, the year 2011 could have been the worst. What about 1932, wasn't the Great Depression going on then? Or 1951, was it really that much better then? Doubtful. I think the problem is simply that we have such different expectations today. An award show just isn't an award show unless someone shows up dressed as a sperm egg or a guy tries to take an award from Taylor Swift. My how we have just become so jaded. If the Oscars wanted so badly to appeal to younger people why didn't they have Gaga and Kanye host? Or Biebs and Selena? Or hell, why not just throw it all in and go for Zach and Cody as the hosts, the Suite Life has a huge following. I just think it's pretty harsh for critiques today to complain that James Franco looked too high, and Anne Hathaway appeared to try too hard. To which I ask, have you seen Pineapple Express? What about Princess Diaries, or the Devil Wears Prada? This is what these people do.

Pineapple Express is some of Franco's best work, in my opinion. Now if I were making assumptions, I would only assume that a known pothead such as say, Franco, would prepare for one of the most nerve racking moments in his entire life by, well, by smoking a lot of pot. So while Hathaway was nervously tap dancing and giggling uncontrollably and Franco just stared on with a look of "what in the hell is going on here," I can only assume that's because he was probably high as kite and was just choosing to sit back and observe, at times forgetting he was indeed the host. It's happened to the best of us, I only wished he would have shared a blunt or two with Hathaway. It's not that I don't like little Annie... She just always reminds me of that spastic, dorky high school girl that was just a little too annoying for me to handle. I bet she's the type of girl who would get real drunk off of just a few drinks, not realizing until the later the drinks were actually alcohol free. She will forever be Mia Thermopolis in my book, unruly hair and all.

I haven't seen the King's Speech, but I am dying to. Having suffered from a lisp in elementary school, I think that I'll be able to relate very well to this movie. Sally sells seashells by the seashore...Sally sells seashells by the seashore...If I had a dollar for every time I practiced that rhyme. Anyway, I'm also quite intrigued by Winter's Bone. From what I've gathered, it's about a trashy small town that is run on meth labs. I love the idea of meth labs. Whenever Chris and I drive through Plattsmouth on the way to, or from Topeka, we play a fun little car game called "spot the meth lab." We try to pick out as many houses as possible that we believe have meth labs, this includes, but is not limited to, cars in the front yard, shabby garages, and one time we spotted a tree house we suspected to have a meth lab. It's just a fun little game to pass time.

I was excited Natalie Portman won best Actress for that devil of a movie Black Swan. That movie made me want to go home and shower. It also made me want to stop picking my hang nails, it's such a bad habit, but it makes me feel better to know even ballerinas can't help themselves. I only hope for Natalie's sake that the curse of the Oscar doesn't happen to her too, you know the curse where you find out two weeks after winning that your husband has actually been cheating on you with a tattoo artist/porn star for the past five years.

Am I sad Facebook didn't win much? No, not at all. This just gives me hope, the chances of two Facebook movies winning big are just too slim. So now when Facebook Girl hits the big screen it will have that much more of a chance to do well. I've already started casting. I'm thinking big. Like Miley as FbGirl, and an opening song by Ke$ha. Go with me here,

"Woke up in the morning feelin like Fb-Girl,

With lips pouted out and my eyes so big,

Flip the chin, booty out, gone' face the back,

Before I leave, take this pic, with a bottle of jack.


I'm talking stat updates like hos hos

Taking pics of all my clothes clothes

Boys blowing up my phones phones

Saying they wants to bone bone


Don't stop, make my status pop,

Tonight I'm gona go till I drop

Tik tok on the FB clock...."


Nothing is in concrete, of course. Just thinking out loud is all.