So much reality TV, so little time

I've been struggling these past few days thanks to Facebook. I can't stand to read all of the back to school posts, they make me sick to my stomach. Don't those college piggys realize how rude they are being to their alumni? Rub it in our sober faces just a little more about how much fun you are having and how many shots of Rumplemintz you are taking on any given week night at the Rail. See if I care! While you were all busy being too wasted to talk I was quite productive searching for the perfect creme colored bed skirt, and a set of steak knifes under $50. Drinking is so overrated as far as I'm concerned, I'm just gonna go ahead and add it to my O.R. list right along side friends, socializing, being famous, a college degree, and going out in general. In the words of Kim "pish posh," I don't need any of it.

Speaking of overrated, Jersey Shore is apparently the highest rated show on TV right now. I tried real hard not to watch it Thursday night just because I hate to think that I am adding to the fame and wealth of greasy Jersey shore kids but I simply couldn't help myself. I saw more happen in one episode of Jersey than I did in an entire season of the Hills- Ronnie was too drunk to stand, Angelina openly farted and Snooki claimed to have tasted it, Situation continued to make up more phrases in hopes of landing it on a T shirt, J Wow threatened to physically beat Angelina again, Sammi Sweetheart flashed the double flip off numerous times while exclaiming "I'm done" "I'm so over this" only to schnuggle with Ronnie the following the day and the other two Pauli D and Vinny played their part of the two dumb side kicks adding jokes on the side only when absolutely necessary. So ya, it's safe to say this cast of east coast rats have ten times more personality than any one on the Hills ever did. Although, even calling them rats right now makes me just a tad nervous because J Wow literally scares the crap out of me, remember that old song "Hood Rat Bitch," pretty sure it was written about her.

But back to The Hills, I've been hearing all over the news that the plastic surgeon famous for creating the new monster like Heidi, among other creepy celebs like Janice Dickinson, and the other old lady who is going on ninety seven but appears to be aging backwards- Joan Buttons? Or maybe it's Joan Rivers, anyway the doctor died when he drove his car off a cliff while get this, this is the good part, while he was tweeting! Wonder what the tweet was, "shit, just fell off a cliff!" What a devoted tweeter, you gotta respect that. On the other hand, this could all be a publicity stunt, I smell scandal- or is it burnt flesh? Eeek too soon, my bad! Perhaps a new reality show is on the way? Speidi is for sure behind this. I'm already excited! As excited as I was today when I saw my fav teen moms, Farrah and Macy on US this week. You go girls! This show always reminds me how I so missed the boat on being 16 and pregnant, live and learn I guess. But the article said that Amber, the chubby mean one dating the kind hearted Gary, is going to become a mixed martial artist for her profession. I so could have called that, she has martial artist written all over her.