Chpt 11 Invitations Not Meant To Be Answered

As tempting as it might be, resist the invite the entire Facebook world received.

Often times I wonder what people did prior to Facebook regarding parties that were important enough to invite people to, but at the same time not important enough to purchase actual invites. Obviously I'm referring to 21st birthdays and college graduation parties. I realize many college graduation parties require old fashioned invites still for the adults invited, but what about for the 75 college friends you're inviting so they can come drink free keg beer? Or what about all the parties in-between, (beer Olympics, keg/case races, WTF parties, party buses, togas, sweater parties, the list goes on and on.) If there was a party which required more than a few days preparation how did one find out? Because we all know texting someone on Monday "what are you doing Friday" is just a little weird. Can we thank Facebook for the increase of college binge drinking, as well? Why not? Facebook is responsible for everything else good in the world.

But what I am referring to isn't exactly the standard Fb invites mentioned above. I'm actually more intrigued by the invites Facebook Girl posts to the world as a status- not a closed invite. Perhaps invite isn't even the correct word, sometimes they seem more like proposals or offers? They usually all involve alcohol in exchange for a service provided. Whether it be a post looking for guys to help move large furniture, or to provide a more simple service of "cooling me off." So I raise the question- is this a desperate, perhaps trashy move or incredibly savvy? Well judging by the amount of responses she gets... I might have to try this technique myself. Who wouldn't want an abundance of their Facebook friends to show up where they're laying out with "margaritas and massage oil?" Actually, that's precisely what I wouldn't want come to think of it. But what I would like to know is do the gentlemen actually show up? If so, what kinds of guys are they? Are they the Facebook Boys who just sit and wait at their computer for these exact kinds of statuses to appear in hopes they might actually get the chance to touch Facebook Girl in person? The tantalizing girl who fills their computer screen with her bodacious bod whom they create graffiti art and air brush T shirts for? If that is the case, I truly hope with all of my Facebook heart that their day does come.

FbGirl: "I need some strong (preferably shirt less) men to help me move! Alcohol provided, and I'll be wearing little shorts I promise ;)"

Oh you little devil, you. How can anyone possibly say no to that?

FbGirl: "laying out all day. Will someone please bring me jello shots poolside and also oil for my back? Thank U!"

You forgot to say whether or not the boys would be allowed to rub the oil on you. I think that would make a huge difference.

FbGirl: "needs someone to come downtown to buy me a shot. Or five. I'll be the loner in the mini dress :("

Don't be sad Facebook Girl. I'm sure at least ten Ed Hardy's are on their way before you even click "post."

FbGirl: "Bored at work... I wish you could get eye candy delivered lol."

I believe you can, they're called escorts.

FbGirl: "Maybe it's good I don't see any hot guys tonight. Me + sexy men = trouble. Then again... Text if you're out"

Anything involving "something + sexy men=trouble" is always a good one to end on.