Chicagoprah.

The other day I heard on The Today Show- probably one of the most trusted news sources obviously, that the average amount of money it takes to raise a child from birth until age 18 is about $220,000. And this total does not include college. So I wonder if it includes things like MIPs, DUIs, car crashes, rehab, and all the other things stupid teens waste their parents money on these days. I mean throw in a baby that smokes 2 packs a day on top of that total and it probably goes up to about $230,000. That is a lot of money. Think about the Duggars and the Gosselins. They're contributing at least four or five million with all of their offspring. And we can't forget about that icky single mom who has like 13 kids. It makes me wonder how in the hell our nation is in "debt" as everyone claims, if you can look at every little child running around with that kind of dollar sign above their head. It's because this whole debt thing is a conspiracy I bet. And I've got a good bet who is running it all and her name starts with O! and ends with prah. I've got zero proof backing this, it's just a feeling you could say. I just find it a little too coincidental that a little known African American man from her neck of the woods magically becomes president out of nowhere, basically. I came across a news clip the other day featuring our good President regarding his thoughts on the oil spill, now I am paraphrasing but he said something like this,
"I'd like to know the names so I can know whose ass to kick." "Ass to kick," is the part I am most sickened about. I am all for a President of the people, for the people, blah blah blah. But really? Saying ass kick is so middle school. Not to mention coming out of the mouth of the President of the United States just seems so classless. Yes, I say stupid shit on a regular basis, thus the reason I am not seeking a job in politics. I suppose I really shouldn't talk about things I don't understand, and politics and economics are right up there with fax machines and black holes.
In just a few hours Chris and I will be boarding our train for Chicago, or as I call it, Chicagoprah. I am expecting train beverages to be pricey so I am packing my own alcohol in miniature containers. Tyeler and I once tried this trick on a airplane ride, we dumped out miniature bottles of after shave and hair spray and refilled them with Vodka. Turns out the taste of after shave and hair spray do not come out of their containers. We were troopers though and spent a three hour plane ride sipping on Vodka Paul Mitchells and Vodka Old Spices. I still shiver at the scent of Paul Mitchell hair spray. This time I got smart, or perhaps less stupid, and purchased the tiny containers from the Target travel aisle that do not have anything in them. I don't know what it is about miniature items but they always seem to suck me in. For some reason I just love tiny deodorants, hair sprays, and toothbrushes, and wrinkle reducers. I realize I am probably paying more for a smaller container than the regular size but I just can't help myself.
Well I am sitting at Panera right now waiting for Chris to get off work and an older man just sat next to me who is talking to himself in a very exquisite English accent- I have a feeling it might be fake, however. I am nervous his conversation with himself is coming to a close soon which worries me it will switch to me. So this is my cue to leave.