Hills Edish #5

There are few girls that intimidate me, as I mentioned before one of which is the girl at Plato's when she sorts through my old clothes, another is the woman at the Chanel bag counter at Saks in St. Louis, and even though I am a bit ashamed to say it, Kristin Cav makes the list, as well. So pretty much if I were Brode's new Michaela girl, yah, I would be shitting my pants when K Cav walked into the club. I also wonder if Michaela was thinking to herself, hey I used to watch you on Laguna! I've watched you morph from a chubby teen into a cocaine induced beautiful slim young woman. But I want to know a little history on Michaela, how does one who has only lived in LA for 6 months not only land herself a date with the Brodester, but also a spot on the Hills? There's got to be more to this story. Is her dad the producer? Is her aunt Aurdrina? Does she hold in her hands the coveted Jason/Lauren home vid?
But how annoying were the little birdies (Lo and Steph) when Kristin moved to sit by them? "Are you mad about this? "Are you uncomfortable" "Is this awkward for you?" What terrible questions. They might as well have asked her if she felt fat.
And Steph we get it already, you want to pretend you're sober. You're 23 and sober, pretty sure you've said this on about every episode. But what I want to know is why you are so incredibly desperate. Why you would be so ecstatic that someone like Lo was able to scramble you up a guy? I mean I'm sure it was super hard in a place like LA to find someone who would agree to go out on date that would also happen to be an episode of the Hills. Because people in LA just aren't into stuff like this...
Speaking of gross LA people, how great was it not to see Heidi and Spencer? Rumor is that they're screen time becomes less and less toward the end of the season. I guess that is what happens when you start rumors the producer tried to touch you (Spencer!). All in all just another uneventful episode. An uneventful episode in which already rich personality lacking children get paid about $100,000 to do absolutely nothing. Isn't life grand.