Yesterday just as I had left my house it happened again.
I was merely outside the door when I started to wonder if I had left my flat iron on.
Or what about the candle I didn't even have burning?
Or the crimper I haven't used since 2003? (but plan to very soon.)
Or my blow torch? Or the fire pit in my living room?
Every time I leave my house, I am certain I have left something on that will burn it down.
If not that, I must have left the front door wide open inviting all burglars inside.
I believe most call this OCD, right?
I call it being a girl.
Because I can't see Chris and his friends sitting around when all of the sudden one of them stops what they're doing and suddenly questions aloud,
"Ohmygosh, I can't remember if I locked the door! Do you guys think I locked my door?"
Because boys aren't wired to think like that.
So then I started thinking about all of the other ways girls are crazy,
or at least what makes me a little off my rocker.
Let's start with a simple Bless You.
Last week a boy in my comedy class sneezed and almost every single girl in the class said
BLESS YOU as fast as we possibly could.
I think another boy might have mumbled it too, because I know some guys say this as well.
But he was drowned out in the sea of girls shouting bless you as if we would literally shoot to hell if God forbid we forgot to bless someone for their allergies.
And next on my list would be the weird things that give me jollies.
Like return address labels.
Nothing makes me happier than when I happen to get some unexpected return address labels in the mail. I have a few charities I donate to that never let me down,
like the Humane Society or March of Dimes,
but every once in a while a new foundation will find and will just completely blow my socks off with their
4th of July themed labels.
And that shit makes my day.
Other things that make this list would be new nail polish,
making new use of an old object (basically anything recycled-jar related) fun paper towel patterns,
a good candle, and birthday store coupons- just to name a few.
You know what else I do that Chris thinks I'm nut for?
Sporadic short workouts.
After I've eaten too many cookies or too much pizza,
I'll suddenly decide to just burst into a set of five jumping jacks, or pushups, and feel much better.
I'm sure most of you who actually workout don't partake in stuff like this,
but I do thirty second workouts on the regular.
I call it the five-minutes-throughout-the-day-workout-plan.
Then again this is coming from a girl who plays tug-of-war with her dog and considers it an
arm strength exercise.
And then there's the fact that I take every single microwave countdown as a personal
challenge to get as much down as possible.
It doesn't matter if it's thirty seconds, or two and a half minutes,
I will try to unload the dishwasher/clean the counter/fold a blanket/fill the ice trays/build a coffee table.
I can't simply wait like most normal people.
That's all I've got.
Happy Tuesday.
I was merely outside the door when I started to wonder if I had left my flat iron on.
Or what about the candle I didn't even have burning?
Or the crimper I haven't used since 2003? (but plan to very soon.)
Or my blow torch? Or the fire pit in my living room?
Every time I leave my house, I am certain I have left something on that will burn it down.
If not that, I must have left the front door wide open inviting all burglars inside.
I believe most call this OCD, right?
I call it being a girl.
Because I can't see Chris and his friends sitting around when all of the sudden one of them stops what they're doing and suddenly questions aloud,
"Ohmygosh, I can't remember if I locked the door! Do you guys think I locked my door?"
Because boys aren't wired to think like that.
So then I started thinking about all of the other ways girls are crazy,
or at least what makes me a little off my rocker.
Let's start with a simple Bless You.
Last week a boy in my comedy class sneezed and almost every single girl in the class said
BLESS YOU as fast as we possibly could.
I think another boy might have mumbled it too, because I know some guys say this as well.
But he was drowned out in the sea of girls shouting bless you as if we would literally shoot to hell if God forbid we forgot to bless someone for their allergies.
And next on my list would be the weird things that give me jollies.
Like return address labels.
Nothing makes me happier than when I happen to get some unexpected return address labels in the mail. I have a few charities I donate to that never let me down,
like the Humane Society or March of Dimes,
but every once in a while a new foundation will find and will just completely blow my socks off with their
4th of July themed labels.
And that shit makes my day.
Other things that make this list would be new nail polish,
making new use of an old object (basically anything recycled-jar related) fun paper towel patterns,
a good candle, and birthday store coupons- just to name a few.
You know what else I do that Chris thinks I'm nut for?
Sporadic short workouts.
After I've eaten too many cookies or too much pizza,
I'll suddenly decide to just burst into a set of five jumping jacks, or pushups, and feel much better.
I'm sure most of you who actually workout don't partake in stuff like this,
but I do thirty second workouts on the regular.
I call it the five-minutes-throughout-the-day-workout-plan.
Then again this is coming from a girl who plays tug-of-war with her dog and considers it an
arm strength exercise.
And then there's the fact that I take every single microwave countdown as a personal
challenge to get as much down as possible.
It doesn't matter if it's thirty seconds, or two and a half minutes,
I will try to unload the dishwasher/clean the counter/fold a blanket/fill the ice trays/build a coffee table.
I can't simply wait like most normal people.
That's all I've got.
Happy Tuesday.
