The Christmas Letter that Wasn't

Topeker Etiquette

The Do's and Don'ts of the Holiday Season

DO embrace this wonderful time of year, and all the fun that goes with it,

But DON'T think you're full decorated, until there is a Santa snowglobe in the yard, fully lit.

DO all of your Christmas shopping at the great stores around,

Wal Mart, Sam's and Big Lots DON'T ever let you down.

DO take a night out to treat yourself to some of the best Peker eats,

Red Lobster, Spangles, or even Applebees, just DON'T forget to call ahead if you want a good seat.

DO dig in your closets for that old Starter Jacket- collegiate or Pro,

Topekans DON'T seem to care these went out about 15 years ago.

DO invest in a few Roca Wear velour suits,

But DON'T step outside without the matching yellow, workman boots.

DO realize tacky purple light decorations are a must,

So DON'T get fussy when the neighbors spell out on their roof "K State or Bust."

And DO be polite when the locals see you dressed in red Husker gear,

DON'T get snotty when they chuckle and poke, "yer a Husker? Well dat ain't gon fly 'round herre."

Most importantly, DO cherish this holiday season with friends and loved ones around,

Of course I only mean loved ones (Chris & Harlow) as I DON'T have any friends in this town.

Merry Christmas Topeker! God love ya!