The Way the Cookie Crumbles...

I purposely haven't worked on this day for the past two years. "This day" being the last school day before the Halloweener weekend. I really can't think of anything worse than having being surrounded by highschoolers all strung out on Halloween candy and horny thoughts of their little girlfriends' dressed in naughty costumes. Ew. No, thank you. It's bad enough that some of the girls even try to wear their skanky costumes to school. Tights are different from leggings, I repeat, tights cannot be substituted for leggings. I've seen one too many chubby high school girls dressed in dresses/long shirts with nothing underneath except shear tights. This is not a sight I am comfortable seeing, especially when I am working with food. I'll use one of my personal days for this awful day, anyday. My mom told me I'm mixing up high school kids with elementary kids. Like hell I am. She hasn't experienced a holiday in a high school classroom. I might as well be in a kindergarten room surrounded by five year olds. Even seventeen year olds that normally would prefer to sit in the back of the room silently cutting themselves suddenly become Johnny ADD bouncing off the walls from excitement for the holiday ahead. And of course the moody emo kids are extra chatty because technically this is "their holiday." They finally have an actual excuse for the black trench coats they wear and those creepy pants with the velcro straps that dangle in the back. Like I always say, it is what it is. And that is a day I refuse to work.

So yesterday was my mother's birthday, more importantly her first facebook birthday. Oh what a treat it was for her. There wasn't a moment that I didn't find her on her phone anxiously checking to see who had written on her wall. You all remember the excitment of your first social network birthday, I'm sure, it's probably one you'll never forget. The joy of seeing that your brother's best friend's cousin from grade school wished you a happy birthday is a joy unlike any other. It took my mom a few posts to get used to this yesterday. Quite frequently she would say things such as,

"Oh my gosh, this person hasn't wished me happy birthday in over ten years," and,
"Do you think this guy would even know it's my birthday if not for Facebook?" and even, "I don't think this person would even tell me happy birthday in real life."

No, mom, they wouldn't. And that's the beauty of Facebook world. I went over this with her many times, it doesn't matter if the person even knows you, they still have a right to say happy birthday, this concept was especially hard for her to grasp.

"What did people do for birthdays before Facebook?" my mom innocently asked.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

I guess the best part of the day was towards the end of the night after a few drinks when my mom checked her birthday wall for the last time and happily proclaimed,

"I freaking love Facebook!"

We all do, mom. We all do. And now to continue with the fun for this week we are headed to Lincoln in a few hours to celebrate Tye's first Nebraska bridal shower. What fun it will be, drinking with more than one friend at one time is something that I cherish these days. And of course we can't forget about tomorrow: the game, the bar, the rail, spicy chicken pizza, the bar, HALLOWEEN, hating mizzou, the rail, the bar, pizza, it's just too much for me to handle. Especially since I have a costume I feel confident to say was pretty much made specifically for me. I almost feel bad for everyone elses' because mine is that cool. So if you see me out please don't feel sad if your costume is really lame compared to mine. Thats just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes... wink wink.