Hills Edish #2

So last night I had quite a few "ah ha" moments during wonderful episode number two. First of all, I've figured out Heidi is Tori Spelling's long lost twin. And Spencer is an albino black, I can't believe I never saw this before. But it's so obvious now, white people simply don't have that carpet hair of his- or the desire to wear numerous gold rings. I went from hating Spencer, to liking him, and now I'm just annoyed by him. He used to be somewhat clever and funny, but now he and Heidi are just multiplying their act by being the villains/dumbasses they know everyone wants them to be. Heidi: "I want my boobs to be a size H for Heidi." I'm sure Spencer was just gitty when he thought of that line for Heidi.
And Brodes Jenns you are getting less and less cute the more you appear on the show. Have more respect for yourself. But I guess what can you expect from someone whose father is on The Kardashians and mother once dated Elvis. When you look at it that way I suppose it's pretty impressive he hasn't OD'd or starred in his own sex tape... Or has he? I just still don't understand how he goes from dating Nichole Richie to being a regular on The Hills, just seems like a huge step down. Then again, The Hills can't be all bad considering it seems to be introducing new pop sensation RYAN CABRERA. What a dream boat! I don't know where my life would be without that fat blob of a face man with a porcupine sitting on his head haircut. He had some great music, didn't he sing something like, um, it was called, um, If I were invisible? No that was that cutie Clay Gayken, I think Ryan had the great album called autobiography with songs like "La La," and "Pieces of Me."
Lo and Steph, you two are just getting worse and worse. Why don't you guys just stop attending social functions with other people and leave your tapings to one on one lunch dates? And can someone tell me why Lo doesn't jump on the plastic surgery boat like the rest of the crew and get those damn dumbo ears pinned? Half the time I can't even see who Lo is standing beside because they are completely covered by those antennas of her's.
And now onto K Cav. Oh K Cav's comebacks just kill me. I don't care what anybody says, the 6th grade smart ass voice will never get old. Cav has used this defensive mechanism starting back on her days of Laguna. On this show we saw it a few times this episode, for example-
Steph Pratt: Are you like drunk right now Kristen?
Cav: Oh ya, I'm hammered. (said in 6th grade smart ass voice)
Steph: You just need to apoligize Kristen before I start to cry and my face melts.
Cav: Uh huh. Ok. Uh huh. (said in 6th grade smart ass voice)
I am still waiting for a few characters to step up and play their part. One of which is Holly, obviously. The other is Charlie. I think these two characters have real potential to contribute to the fake plot of the Hills drama.